When that one special guy has left you flat, you’re probably struggling just to get through the day. But YOU want to get your boyfriend back; so you need to know how to do it.
Is it even possible?
Well, it depends. Some relationships are toxic and you are better off without them.If your boyfriend was abusive or addicted to something, then he needs to sort himself out before he gets involved with anyone else.
But what if you want to get your boyfriend back because you were once happy together, and you feel your problems can be solved?
Then you need to know the right tactics.
When you’ve just been dumped, you are liable to panic and rush around trying too hard to put things right; much too quickly.
You have to accept that it will take time (and you can get the full story of How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back by visiting this page). But if you follow these 10 straightforward steps, you can get your boyfriend back without making things worse between you, or driving him further away.
1. If you broke up recently (less than a month ago), don’t contact him
You both need time and space to come to terms with the breakup. If he calls, be polite but cool, and tell him that you think it’s best to take a break from each other. This will catch him off guard, and he will wonder why you’re not more upset and begging to see him. Anything you do that surprises him – while making you look cool – is good. The first thing you must do is get him to start doubting his decision, and this will do exactly that.
2. Distract yourself with new interests
The more you focus your attention on something new, the less time you will have to think about him. It will help to give you the mental strength to stay away from your boyfriend, and put you back in control of your life. And although you still want to get your boyfriend back, it will make you realize that the world doesn’t begin and end with him.
3. Think about the breakup calmly and clearly. Why did it happen?
This will be difficult, but you need to understand what went wrong before you can decide what the right thing is for you. Do you want to get your boyfriend back just because you can’t deal with being dumped? Or because you can’t face life on your own? How will you solve your problems? Can you rebuild your relationship so that you won’t be facing another breakup a few months down the line? You need to be sure that a good relationship between you is still possible if you are to have any real chance of success here.
4. Stop bothering about what other people think, and start thinking about yourself
Some people make breakups even harder for themselves by worrying about what other people are thinking and saying about them. The fact is, it’s not important. Right now you should be kind to yourself, and give yourself an ego boost by looking your best. You want to be noticed (trust me on this), so wear bright colors, eat well and exercise regularly. You will look and feel great, and attract all the right kind of attention. Best of all, your boyfriend will notice and have another reason to wonder if he did the right thing when he dumped you.
5. Be outwardly calm and keep your tears private
This will demonstrate character as you show dignity in dealing with the breakup. It will also remind your boyfriend of the girl he first fell in love with. You were carefree and happy when you first met, and if you can be like that again, he is more likely to remember those times and have regrets.
6. Find out if he still has feelings for you
By now your boyfriend may have called or texted you; and you will have formed some idea of how he feels about you from what he says. If he hasn’t, then you will have to try to guess his state of mind from his behavior. If he is making a big thing about being single again, or he is very angry or bitter towards you, then his feelings are probably still strong. Beware of apathy or a lack of interest in what you are doing, as this suggests indifference, and that he no longer cares much what you do.
7. Arrange to meet casually
As long as you still have friends in common, you should be able to meet up sometime without making a big thing of it. It’s better to keep these early meetings within a group rather than one to one. For a start it keeps him guessing, and it also makes it easy to remind him that you have friends and a life beyond him. Sport or other fun activities are better than bars or clubs, as the atmosphere will be relaxed and light-hearted.
8. Be light and flirtatious, not heavy and emotional
Keep away from serious subjects, and avoid talking about your relationship problems. Don’t pay him too much attention, but when you are with him make sure you flirt and have fun. If you want to get your boyfriend back, you have to re-attract him first. Let the other men present pay plenty of attention to you too. Show him you have other options.
9. Tease him with memories and the idea that you have been thinking about him
Remind him of the happy times you shared together with a wistful comment or two, but don’t linger on the subject. Let him know that you still think about him, but also talk about the exciting new things you have been doing lately. Paint the picture of someone who still remembers the past fondly, but who is starting to move on. You want to instill the fear of loss in him.
10. Listen to what he says
How he treats you and responds to you will give you a good idea of whether your still hold some part of his heart. Echoing his choice of words is a subtle way of showing him that you still have a lot in common. If he talks about your old relationship, then you’ll know that he has been thinking of it. Take you cue from him, and don’t get into a heavy conversation about what went wrong. It’s better to appear to accept that it wasn’t to be, as this will make him aware that he is losing you.
Remember, the situation isn’t hopeless
Leave him to make the next move.
You can’t force him to want to be with you, so don’t suggest a meeting if he doesn’t. Keep seeing him casually, and keep the flirtation level just high enough to make him uncertain whether it’s for old time’s sake, or that you still have feelings for him.
Couples get back together every day, and it may take some time for him to get past the breakup and think about getting back together. Just make sure you keep him guessing. Letting him know that you want him back will destroy all the tension you have built up. He must have a genuine fear of losing you if you are to have a real chance to get your boyfriend back.