Your breakup was painful and now more than anything else you want to get your ex boyfriend to want you back. Maybe you’ve tried moving on but you still miss him and the thought of being together again keeps making you feel wistful and sad.
So what do you do?
Well, getting your ex boyfriend to want you back is a good idea.
Think about it
What does the average person do after a breakup they didn’t want? They pursue their ex beloved and try to wheedle, convince, bully or beg them to come back. It doesn’t work. They try harder. Their ex gets so fed up of the guilt or anger inducing harassment they end up blocking them. Game over.
So what would work? Getting your ex boyfriend to want you back. It you can do that, then you won’t need to persuade or convince them. They’ll be willing and happy to come back.
Identify the Reasons For the Breakup
It’s not good enough to want your ex back just because you’re lonely and bereft. There needs to a better reason than that, a positive reason. So the first thing is to understand why you broke up and why it would be good to get back together again.
Think about what really went wrong, not just the final talk or fight that ended it. Get feedback from friends and family if you think it will help. Then make a list of the good and bad things about your relationship and try to consider as dispassionately as you can where the bias lies.
There’s no point in spending your precious time on a relationship that isn’t worth saving
If you think the good outweighs the bad then you need to think about your part in the breakup. That may be hard to admit but it’s very rare for the fault to be only on one side. What would you do differently if you were to get back together? You need to work on the changes you want to make before you can get your ex boyfriend to want you back.
Independence
Independence is sexy. Independence is the most attractive quality to a man.
You want him, but you don’t need him. Life is possible without him. You don’t have to be with him 24/7. You both have your own things, and give each other the time to pursue them. You have your own life, your own friends and a way of supporting yourself.
This doesn’t mean being a man-hater. It’s OK to want him to do things for you, and to appreciate it when he does. But you don’t depend on him for your happiness. Your world isn’t defined by him. You don’t look to him to validate your existence. All this is wildly attractive to a man. Being needy and clingy is not.
Have Your Own Style
Men are visual people and the first thing they notice in a woman is her looks.
This doesn’t mean you have to be a raving beauty – how many of us are? But how can you make the best of yourself? Think about when you see him again. You want him to think “Wow! She looks amazing! She’s soooo hot! Why EVER did I let her go?
So show pride in yourself by making the best of your looks and having your own style. Choose your clothes to suit your figure and show off your best features. Doing this will create a ‘look’ that will become uniquely your own.
Get Fitter
No matter how fit you are already, you can give yourself a fillip by working out harder and pushing yourself to the next level. A taut, toned body is always sexier and more alluring.
Knowing you are looking good will fill you with confidence and exude sexiness and style. These qualities are much more attractive to a man because they are full of life. Beauty without animation will quickly become boring. Style conveys the confidence and personality of a woman who is sexy and unique.
Personality & Fun
Did you contribute to the relationship with ideas and fun? Or did you rely on your boyfriend to provide all that?
If he always had to entertain you then he probably grew tired of having to do all the work. You need to be a match for each other in personality and companionship, otherwise the one who contributes the most will start to get bored and resentful.
Dating is all about sharing good times together.
It’s what makes you a couple rather than just good friends. You should be creating memories together, not waiting for your boyfriend to make them for you.
Challenges
Did you try to win your boyfriend’s love by doing everything for him?
A man isn’t looking for a mother in you – he’s already got one. He wants an escape from the boredom of real life.
Giving him challenges will make him invest in you and feel more committed to your relationship. Lots of women try to win a man’s love by anticipating his every need and always being there for him. But men value what they have to work for.
Don’t hand him your love on a plate. Make him work for it.
Men love challenges. Winning makes them feel powerful and successful.
Reward him when he does something for you that pleases you. Seeing you happy makes him feel so good about himself that he will want to keep doing it.
Encourage him to achieve his goals and give him your support. Expect more from him and appreciate him when he rises to the challenge. Make him want to become a better man in order to deserve your love.
Make Him Want You Back
Men are attracted to women who are comfortable in their own skin.
A woman who loves life will always attract men because they will be confident of making her happy. If, like many women, you have allowed yourself to be consumed by your relationship, you may have started to lose sight of the real you. This is the woman who first attracted your boyfriend and made him fall in love with you. If you can rediscover her, you can make him want you back by falling in love with you all over again.
He left because he no longer felt good being with you. Change this, and he’ll be begging you to return to him.
Make him realize you’re the only woman in the world for him. When he sees that he can’t live without you, he won’t be able to let you go.
Not sure what to do next?
My ex and I broke up 11 months ago, but we still see each other. We go out and have fun and then fall asleep together. How do I get him to commit to me again?
Don’t have sex with him unless you are happy without a commitment. Be honest and say that although love spending time with him you’re not happy being friends with benefits.
My ex and I broke up about 6 weeks two ago. It was difficult and as we work together I didn’t follow the no contact rule. We were together for 9 months and everything was perfect (I thought). But he was always talking about losing feelings for me, and then he said he had and it ended. I see him everyday at work. We interact there but he mostly ignores me during the day only to send me texts in the evening checking if I’m okay. I want to remind him that we had was special and strong. What’s the best way to do that?
You need to follow the no contact rule and at work only speak to your ex about work related issues. Don’t make small talk and don’t answer texts asking if you are OK in the evening. That way he has to start thinking for himself about what he wants.