Should you flirt with your ex? Yes, yes, YES! Flirting is the BEST way to rekindle the attraction between you and get him thinking about you positively again.
But with an ex boyfriend, it’s important to make things new and different. You don’t want to remind him of the bad old days. So flirting is a great technique for getting back under his skin. But how to flirt with your ex boyfriend is a subtle art; there are different rules and techniques for flirting with someone you already know well.
It was easy to keep some mystery when you were first getting to know each other, but now that you need to recreate that you must refine your flirting skills. Flirting builds attraction, and that’s what you need to get your ex boyfriend back.
Remember those first few weeks together when you couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondering if he was feeling the same? This is the attraction and excitement you need to get back, and flirting is one of the best ways to get your ex thinking about you romantically again.
The Art of How to Flirt with Your Ex Boyfriend
Creating mystery is essential.
Intimacy is the enemy of mystery. And if you made the mistake of chasing your boyfriend after the breakup then flirting will help to undo the negative impression you’ve created and make him see you in a new and different light. Remember though that you need to practice no contact first so that you are in in the right place for getting him back.
You want him to see the new you. So you have to believe in the new you.
Remember what you are saying about yourself when you flirt.
I am cool
I am confident
I am attractive
I am sexy
Now that he’s an ex you need to make some subtle changes in the way you flirt with him. You are having fun and showing off your allure, not trying to tell him that you are attracted to him. So flirting with your ex boyfriend means using different rules, and you need to get it right to have the best chance of turning things around and winning him back.
Keep it subtle
You want him to be uncertain whether you are actually flirting with him at all. The more he wonders, the more he will think about you – positively. He should be thinking ‘Is she really flirting with me?’, not ‘Wow, she sounds desperate. Looks like ending it was the right thing’.
Don’t talk about your relationship
Concentrate on the present or the future and avoid talking about the past. This is not the time. Especially avoid anything negative about your relationship – you don’t want to remind him about any of the bad things.
Avoid contacting your boyfriend when you are feeling low or over-emotional
Now is not the time for spontaneity, although you want to sound carefree to him. Never drunk dial or text him as you will immediately undo all the good you have done.
Don’t use jealousy as a weapon
It might backfire. If you want to date someone else, then be prepared for your ex to think you have moved on so that he turns his back on you completely. For more about this, visit this page.
Be noncommittal when you talk about your ex
Don’t criticize or rubbish him but don’t tell everybody how much you are still in love with him either. Keep your comments friendly but neutral.
Be patient and expect things to take time
Don’t suggest a date the moment your boyfriend is speaking to you again. Stick to casual meetings and general socialising while you rebuild trust and attraction. This will give you the perfect scope for subtle flirting!
When you do see your ex, remember that less is more
Keep conversations brief and upbeat. Make it clear you are filling your life with new, fun activities but don’t go into details. You want him to wonder and think about you.
Be friendly and fun, but avoid heavy topics
Don’t get sentimental or emotional about the past (or the future). Your aim is to attract and intrigue your ex, not overwhelm him with passionate avowals of your feelings.
Focus on the future
Talk about the things you want to do now that you have the time and freedom. Make the breakup look as if it has turned out well for you, rather than destroying your life.
Keep your mutual friends, but don’t confide in them
If they ask questions, smile and change the subject. Get them intrigued too.
Listen to what those mutual friends say
You might learn some useful things. But don’t probe. People are more likely to let things drop when they feel relaxed.
Talk about events or parties where you might see each other
This is a great way to have casual contact in situations where it is easy and natural to flirt. It is also an excellent sign if your boyfriend goes to places where he knows there is a chance of seeing you.
Follow up happy encounters with short, fun, flirty texts
Only send one, and don’t repeat it until your boyfriend replies. Don’t talk about your relationship or your feelings. For more about how to text your ex, visit this page.
Your aim is to create new and happy memories in your ex’s mind, and make him see the future as full of possibilities – possibilities of spending it with you.
So how do you make all this happen? What is flirting anyway?
How to Flirt With Your Ex and Build Attraction
Flirting is what you do naturally when you find someone attractive.
There is nothing sexier than looking deep into someone’s eyes. When you first met, you probably found yourselves unable to look away. But now you need to be less obvious. Look into his eyes, but don’t hold his gaze too long. Smile and look away.
Let you fingers graze his forearm or his shoulder. Make it more of a tease than a caress, so that he’s not sure whether you’re doing it because you still want him or just because you feel so comfortable with him.
Compliment, Tease and Play
Men love to play. You can build a much stronger bond by playing with him that through a barrage of conversation. Throw in the occasional compliment, then tease him about it. You want to create uncertainty alongside excitement.
Don’t talk too much
Listen instead. Men love to feel they are being heard. And you will learn much more by listening.
Don’t try to hurry things. You will need patience and persistence. He needs to feel comfortable and relaxed around you before he will start thinking seriously about getting back together.
How to Flirt With Your Ex – Keep Him Guessing
Avoid making your motives too obvious.
You don’t want your boyfriend to think that you have moved on, but you don’t want him to be sure that you want him back either.
Paint pictures in words; pictures of fun things you’d like to do; things it would be fun to do together. But don’t suggest doing them together. Let him fill in that bit in his own mind.
It’s a cat-and-mouse game. The cats see the mouse; is convinced he can catch it, but never quite succeeds. So he goes on trying. He goes on trying because every time he thinks “THIS time, I’m going to win”.
He always has to feel he has a chance.
But don’t rush into intimacy. Give things time to develop so that the excitement and anticipation have a chance to build between you.
You will know you have succeeded when your boyfriend starts seeking you out, calling or texting you and asking you for a date.
Those flirty exchanges can really get him thinking about you again, even if he’s reluctant to see you right now. But do you feel confident about striking exactly the right note?
You certainly don’t want to go OTT, so that your boyfriend sees straight through your attempts to fascinate him. So make sure you don’t lose your cool with the help of The Ex Boyfriend Guide. Find out all about it by clicking the link below.