Wouldn’t it be great if you could make your ex fall back in love with you again? Just think. No more planning and scheming to get him back. No more uncertainty. No more loneliness. In fact, he’d be the one chasing you. Wouldn’t that be the dream way to get your ex boyfriend back?
Of course it would. But right now, it looks impossible. Maybe your ex won’t even speak to you. Maybe he’s told you that you’ll never, ever get back together (Taylor Swift fan?); it’s over between you.
But think about it for a moment. Would it really be that hard?
In fact you have a major advantage over anyone else when you want to make your ex fall back in love with you. After all, you held his heart once, so you know you have the qualities to attract him. All you have to do is remind him why he first fell for you, and there’s a good chance that you can make your ex fall back in love with you again.
But Right Now He’s Got Other Things On His Mind…
The problem is the breakup, and the things that drove you apart. In place of the love you shared, there’s now anger and bitterness; and you need to get past that to have another chance with him. And if your ex has turned his back on you and doesn’t want to see or hear from you any more; then you can’t just rush in with all guns blazing and expect him to fall back into your arms. (You’ve probably been doing a bit of this already, and instead of getting your boyfriend to come back, it’s driven him further away. Find out more about the kind of fatal mistakes people make trying to get their ex back here.)
You need to be a bit more patient and subtle. In the end, your ex needs to feel that it was his idea to get back together, because then he’ll be not just a willing but an eager participant in your new relationship.
Unless he feels it was his decision, you won’t be able to make your ex fall back in love with you again. So follow these 7 clever tips to get him not just back in your arms, but eating out of your hand again.
1. Set Yourself Free Of Him
Yes, this sounds paradoxical, but what it really means is this; stop making your passion for him so obvious!
People always want the things they can’t have. If your ex knows he could have you back whenever he wants, there’s no urgency. He can keep you on the back burner indefinitely; he can even use you as a social backup when all else fails, or as a shoulder to cry on. Knowing that you will always be there, waiting around for him if he should ever decide he wants you, is the surest way to guarantee that he never will.
2. Make Yourself Scarce
Stop being at his beck and call. You’re not his girlfriend now, let alone his beck and call girl. Let him fend for himself. He’s a big boy now, and he can look after himself.
Your priority now is YOU. You have to build a new life for yourself – without him. The surest way to live a life in which nothing ever happens is to wait for events to come to you. So don’t wait at home, hoping your ex will call. He won’t, and even if he does, it’s better if you don’t answer. Go out and do something you enjoy instead.
Remember that your ex is not part of your life any more, and he has no right to expect you to “be there” for him. Even if it’s hard at first, you’ll find that the more you do, the more you will want to do and the less you will think about your ex.
3. Pamper Yourself
Make a fuss of yourself. Treat yourself to a few luxuries. Do the things you enjoy most, and do them often.
All your money is yours now to spend on yourself, so indulge in a few of your favorite treats. Do whatever makes you feel good, and make a resolution to get yourself looking and feeling great.
But don’t indulge yourself by overeating. This is not the time to give in to the urge to binge because you are feeling down. Looking good will show your ex that not only are you doing fine without him, but he has also lost a prize that was well worth keeping.
4. Appreciate What You Have
Instead of obsessing over how unhappy you are, think about the good things you still have. Make a list, if you have to. Your friends, your family, your career, your hobbies, your social life; all the things in your life that mean most to you. Things which, if you’re honest, you probably neglected a bit while you were together.
Being a “glass half full” person will give you a completely different outlook from the person whose glass is always half empty; and everyone else will pick up on your positive vibes. Being happy is a great draw. People flock to happy people, and crave their company. Happy people always seem to have something special, some irresistible allure, something which others want to share.
5. Let Go of the Past
Don’t keep obsessing over what went wrong, and what you could have done differently. Think instead of how different the future is going to be.
Dwelling on the past pulls you down and robs you of the will to make changes. You cannot change or undo what has already happened. You need to look forward and find reasons to be optimistic.
Having negative thoughts and feelings shows in everything you say and do, and other people will pick up on your negative vibes. And there is no quicker way of ensuring that nobody wants to be with you. Not only will you not make your ex fall back in love with you; you’ll be in danger of chasing away your other friends too.
6. Welcome the Changes
Even though you’ve just suffered a very unwelcome change – your breakup; try to see change in a positive light.
The breakup has happened now; it’s history. Further changes are inevitable if you are going to move on. But there are plenty of other things over which you do still have control. So use this as an opportunity to improve your life in the most positive ways you can.
Set goals for yourself and make a realistic plan to achieve them. Any kind of success right now, however small, will be an enormous confidence booster, and will show your ex that actually, you can do fine without him. All the words in world won’t convince him even a fraction as well as seeing you confidently turning your life around.
7. Love Yourself First
If you don’t find yourself lovable, then no-one else will.
Right now you need to regain your ex’s love in order to validate your belief in your own worth. But being happy with the person you already are takes away that need. When a breakup is truly devastating to the person who has been dumped, it’s often because they relied on their partner to make them feel worthwhile and valuable.
Learning to love yourself will take away much of the power your ex has over you, because you won’t need the affirmation of his love just to feel good about yourself.
Make Your Ex Fall Back In Love With You By Moving On
The paradox is that to make your ex fall back in love with you, you need to start moving on and showing him that he is not necessary to your happiness. The less sure he feels of your love, the more valuable and desirable it will become to him. It’s human nature. People never want something more than when they fear it’s about to be taken away from them.
And whatever happens, you will have started the process of recovery. You won’t still be in the dark place you were when you started out on your journey. Instead you will be on your way to somewhere new and better – and to making your ex fall back in love with you again.