Think about it. Facebook is one of the most popular – and powerful – methods of communication in most people’s lives today. So why shouldn’t it be an effective tool for getting back together with your ex? Social networking is an important part of your life. So why not use your Facebook profile to get your ex back?

People can’t resist checking out the Facebook pages of everybody they know. And when you’ve just broken up, you can be sure that both partners are keeping an eye on each other through Facebook.

It doesn’t matter who did the dumping; no-one can resist the temptation to find out what their ex is up to on Facebook. What they’re doing and who they’re seeing is something you just have to follow. And the beauty of this is that it can help you to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back.

The reason is simple: you both want to know how the other is dealing with the breakup.

If you’ve been following the No Contact rule, then you’ll understand some of the reasons why it can be so effective to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back. You’ll know how important is it to project the right image to the world and to your ex. You want them to know that you’re not a heartbroken wreck, falling apart with misery because they have left you, and unable to cope with your life alone.

Instead you can show them a person who is moving on with their life, and coping well with the breakup.  When your ex sees you going out, making new friends, getting on at work and building a new life, they will be surprised, confused and even affronted that you have moved on so quickly.

You will look like a winner, someone with great social value whom they have been a fool to lose.

You will look like someone they would be happy to date.

You will look like someone they wish they could have back in their life.

The Importance of Social Value

Everybody wants to date a winner. Nobody wants to date a loser. And you can use Facebook to get your ex back by projecting all these positive, desirable, winning qualities through your Facebook profile.

But you need to disguise your intentions if you are going to succeed. Any hint that you would use your Facebook profile to get your ex back will fall flat if it becomes obvious to them. You must show them what they are missing, without making it look as if you are thinking about them at all.

Don’t Go Overboard on Updates

This means not updating your page umpteen times a day, or constantly posting things on your ex’s wall. But the most important rule of all is don’t unfriend them.

Of course, it’s a temptation. You probably feel so hurt and angry that you really want to unfriend them. What better way to show them just how little they matter to you now?

But it would be a big mistake.

First and most importantly of all, you need them to be able to see your Facebook profile. To see the updates you and your friends are going to make to it over the next few weeks. You can’t use your Facebook profile to get your ex back if your ex is no longer a part of your Facebook community.

Secondly, you don’t want your ex to know how upset you are, and unfriending them would tell them exactly that. But leaving them among your friends shows that you are rising above the breakup, and moving on with your life.

It would also lead to a spate of posts and messages from your friends asking why your ex has disappeared from your profile. A mass of speculation about what has gone wrong between you. And you really don’t want to discuss your relationship in public at all. So make sure to keep all mention of it away from Facebook.

Having made sure you don’t unfriend your ex, what are the active, positive ways you can use your Facebook profile to get your ex back?

Changing Your Relationship Status

You will probably be tempted to change your relationship status too, just as you thought about unfriending your ex. But when you update your relationship status, everyone is notified. And this will draw attention to you for all the wrong reasons. Your friends will start posting on your wall asking questions. And you will end up discussing your breakup in public – and looking needy and attention-seeking in the process.

All of this is bad news.

So leave your relationship status unchanged for a week or two. This will have several positive effects.

Your ex won’t feel rejected or victimized. This may sound counter-intuitive, but if you want them back, then not changing your status too quickly will make you look emotionally stable and mature.

You will avoid all references to your breakup on Facebook. Remember that you don’t want your ex to know how you really feel about it.

It might encourage your ex to have doubts about the breakup.

It will suggest that the breakup is not the most important thing on your mind.

When you do change your relationship status, don’t change it to “it’s complicated”. This will make it clear to your ex that you have hopes of getting back together. That is a fatal mistake when you use your Facebook profile to get your ex back.

Change Your Profile Picture

Unlike your relationship status, your profile picture is something you must think about changing fairly quickly.

At any moment your profile picture says a lot about you, so after breaking up with someone it’s important to make sure that yours is sending the right message. Whatever your current one is like, and no matter how proud of it you are; you need to change it.

Putting up a new profile picture is essential when you want to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back.

You want to make a powerful statement about yourself, and a picture can paint a thousand words. It must be a new picture that your ex has never seen, as you want to make it clear that your life hasn’t ended with your breakup. (For more about finding the right profile picture, visit this page.)

Think about the pictures you were using when you and your ex first got together. There was probably something in them that they found attractive, appealing and sexy. You want to recreate that feeling, but with a completely new set of photos.

If you are jolted by how much better you looked back then, take it as a warning that you should try to get back in shape. Looking great will add masses to your confidence and your social value. You want your ex to feel sorry, not relieved, that they are not with you any more.

Keep Your Photo Album Buzzing

Think about the things you used to enjoy together, especially if your relationship was routine (and even boring) in the end. Take pictures whenever you go out, post them on your wall and get your friends to do the same. You don’t want it to look as if you are trying to send a message to your ex, but you do want them to see you enjoying yourself. Most of all, you want them to see you doing the things they enjoy too.

But you must avoid tagging yourself in any of these photos; and get your friends to tag you instead. Your ex will notice all the pictures where you are tagged, and see that you are out enjoying yourself with an active social circle. You can also comment on these photos, giving some background and painting a picture for your ex of someone who is enjoying life and not clinging to the past.

Try to include photos showing you with members of the opposite sex, especially ones that your ex doesn’t know. They will wonder who these new people are, and whether there are any romantic sparks between you. Don’t try and make it look as if you actually have a new romantic interest. Just make it clear that you have options, and you could be starting a new relationship in the very near future. This will spark your ex’s desire to have you all to themselves again.

All these are very effective ways to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back.

Add New Friends

This is a great strategy at any time, and the most effective way to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back. It shows your ex that you have a vibrant and expanding social life, and it skyrockets your social value. Friends of both sexes are great, but the more MOTOS you can add, the better. This is what your ex notices most. It’s guaranteed to get under their skin and make them fear losing you for good.

Most people who dump someone have an arrogant assumption that they could easily get that person back, if they really wanted to. This is the first idea you have to scupper if you want to get your ex back. From now on every member of the opposite sex you know is a possible new boyfriend or girlfriend, at least as far as your ex is concerned.

So start expanding your social circle right away!

Let your ex wonder who these people are, and why you seem to be enjoying your new single life so much. After all, they were expecting you to spend your time at home alone, comfort eating and sobbing into your pillow every night.

Your Facebook Wall

Use your wall to post things about your new life and your expanding interests. Your wall should compliment your photo album, and give some intriguing details about the new kick-ass life you are leading.

Try to get your friends to join in with their comments, and encourage them to tag you in all their pictures. But resist the urge to tag yourself. The more engaged you are with other people, the better your image will be, and the more powerful will be the social value that you are projecting to your ex.

Keep your comments as amusing and fun-filled as possible, and if possible throw in a bit of flirting. Although you don’t want it to look as if you have found someone new, you do want to make it look like a possibility. You want your ex to feel a sense of urgency over your availability.

If they think you could be snapped up by someone new at any moment, it will really focus their mind on whether they want to risk losing you for good.

How to Use Your Facebook Profile to Get Your Ex Back

Desire is the most effective way to use your Facebook profile to get your ex back, sprinkled with a healthy amount of fear. Arouse your ex’s desire through the subtle use of memories, and the promise of better things to come. Use your photo album and your wall judiciously to create these effects.

Then add in some fear that you could move on to the point where it would be impossible for them to get you back.

Remember that what you see on someone’s Facebook profile is powerfully persuasive and convincing. Paint the picture you want them to see there, and they will believe it.

Don’t expect to achieve a reconciliation overnight. It will take time to create the impression you are trying to make. Rushing things will make it clear that you are just trying to manipulate your ex. Stick to simple tweaks to your profile picture, your album and your wall; and you will get the result you want.


Change your profile picture to one that your ex has never seen before. You want to show yourself looking happy, relaxed and enjoying your life.

Keep updating your album with pictures showing a full and sociable life. Make it clear that you are not brooding over the breakup, but moving in with your life. Make your ex feel both nostalgic and regretful.

Use your wall to complete the impression of someone who is happy with their life. Encourage your friends to comment on it as much as possible.

Add new friends to confirm your social value and make your ex aware of the possibility that you could find someone else.

Get your friends to tag you in their photos (but don’t tag yourself).

Un-tag your ex from all your photos. You don’t want it to look as if you are hanging on to the past, having regrets, or hoping to get back together.


Change your relationship status. This focuses attention on your breakup just when you want your ex to believe that you are moving on. Leave it for a couple of weeks, and then consider removing it altogether from your page. This will look more mysterious and intriguing than changing it to single. That would just make it look as if you have accepted defeat.

Unfriend your ex. Unfriending them shows that you are hurt and upset, and makes you look angry, mean-spirited and vengeful. It also makes it harder for your ex to contact you, so leave the door open instead.

Be sad, angry or negative. Keep your photos and posts upbeat, happy and positive.

Be obsessive. Don’t update your page too often, or it will be obvious what you are doing. You are supposed to be too busy to update it more than a couple of times a day.

Stalk your ex. Try not to look at their page at all. Whatever you see there is bound to upset and destabilize you, as you rush to put the worst possible interpretation on it.

Paint a Picture of Your Great New Life!

Try to make your life and your Facebook profile accurate reflections of each other. Remember that building a new life and moving on are valuable activities in themselves. It’s essential that you make a genuine effort to do this, if you are ever to have a happy relationship with your ex.

Keep everything looking natural and unforced, and avoid doing anything overt or attention-seeking. To use your Facebook profile to get your ex back successfully, you need to look as if you are not using it at all.

Not sure what to do next?

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This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. Danny

    She unfriended me but follows every story I post even though we havent talked since i went NC 35 days ago. I don’t want to reach out. Also, i was thinking of blocking them from being able to see all the activities I’m going out and doing. Any thoughts on course of action.

    1. Sarah

      Depends whether or not you want her back. Maybe you feel you’ve moved on now.

  2. Maureen

    My cover photo is still the two of us after 1 month of no contact. I’m worried about replacing it because people will ask questions and I don’t know what to say. My ex said he didn’t feel the same about me and found someone else before we broke up. If I change my picture he might think it’s fine to move with this other woman. What should I do?

    1. Sarah

      You could change the picture without posting it to your news feed. Have you used the no contact period to work on yourself?

  3. Velma

    My friends say I should unfriend my ex on Facebook but you say not. What should I do?

    1. Sarah

      It’s better not to do so, but perhaps your friends just meant you shouldn’t be tempted to follow him on Facebook which is true.

  4. Diana

    I usually update my Facebook page several time a day. Should I post less often or would that look odd?

    1. Sarah

      It’s fine to post at your normal rate.

  5. Tracy

    My profile picture is of me and my ex. Shall I replace it with one of me alone, or would that be a bad move?

    1. Sarah

      It might be best to leave it for a week or two at least. And think twice before including your boyfriend in your profile picture again!

  6. Joanna

    My ex has been posting pictures of him with another girl on his facebook wall. Does that mean he’s found someone else?

    1. Sarah

      Not necessarily. Maybe he is using Facebook to try to get you back!

  7. Jassy

    I didn’t yet change my profile picture together with my ex. It’s been more than a week we didn’t chat and since the breakup. I didn’t also untag him and still our photos is on my facebook. When will i be doing these? Thank you.

    1. Sarah

      Change you profile picture sometime in the next couple of weeks when you have a really great picture to replace it. Try to make it one that will make people laugh or at least smile. Leave the other photos and add more so that they are not your most current ones. And in future it might be best if you keep your Facebook picture personal to you. It’s not as bad as the people who end up having to have tattoos removed but it’s a similar situation.

  8. Yolande

    I’ve already unfriended my ex. How can I reverse that without looking obvious or needy?

    1. Sarah

      Either leave him unfriended and use another method of getting him back, or you will just have to re-friend him and pretend it was a mistake. If you do so, don’t make any other effort to contact him. Treat it casually, and in a few weeks it won’t seem that important any more.

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