Are you feeling insecure or anxious about your relationship? But you can’t quite put your finger on why you feel like this? Well, it might be because your intuition is telling you that something is wrong. And although you’d probably like to dismiss your worries as petty and trivial, they may be more significant than that. Could they be the first signs that you are heading for a breakup?
Most women have a powerful intuition. And when they ignore what their intuition is telling them, they often regret it.
If you are not normally insecure and needy, there might be good reasons for your uneasiness. Relationship problems don’t always blow up suddenly in a big fight; they can creep up slowly and subtly. So subtly, in fact, that you don’t even notice that things have already started to go wrong.
But even if you can see signs that you are heading for a breakup, it doesn’t mean it’s inevitable. And you don’t have to settle for second best either; there may be something you can do to put things right.
What Are the Signs You Are Heading For a Breakup?
There’s no denying things aren’t as good as they were. You’re unhappy and he’s becoming difficult. You want to blame him but that’s never a good way to go, especially if you don’t want to lose him.
When you want to know more about a man’s true feelings and intentions; don’t listen to what he says. Look at his actions. A man’s words should tally with his actions. If they have started to diverge, it’s a problem. And when they do; it’s his actions, not his words, that are speaking the truth.
So how are things really going on the home front? These are all typical signs that you might be heading for a breakup.
1. You Are Spending Less Time Together
When you first met you wanted to spend very moment together. Now you are a couple you still have you own lives but you used to exchange regular news. Now even that has become sporadic, and you’ve suddenly realized he hasn’t called for days. And you haven’t seen each other for a week.
Of course life can get in the way, but it’s more than that; you’re just not sharing things in the way you used. And you have plans for next weekend that don’t include him.
Proactive tips: ask yourself when you started to drift apart. Make a date with your boyfriend to spend the day together doing something you enjoy. Challenge him playfully (not resentfully) to do the same.
2. You’ve Noticed That He Communicates Less
Recently he’s been too busy to get back to you when you call and he takes much longer than before to respond to your texts and emails. Perhaps he genuinely didn’t see them. Or perhaps they just aren’t as important to him as they were.
And it’s amazing how often he can’t see you tonight. There could be lots of good reasons for this; he might be overwhelmed at work, he might be ill, or he might have family or personal problems. But perhaps spending time with you is just not the priority for him that it was.
Proactive tips: if he doesn’t respond to your messages, don’t send more asking him why he’s ignoring you. Pull back and wait until he makes the effort to reply (warning: be prepared to be patient).
3. He Appreciates and Compliments You Less
For men, giving is more natural and rewarding than receiving. Some men like to compliment their girlfriends, some like to express their love verbally and some are more comfortable doing things for their beloved. Whatever his natural style he should still be using it to let you know how much he appreciates you.
If he’s not bothering that much any more, then he’s less concerned than he was about making you happy.
Proactive tips: if he’s started to be a bit neglectful, be a bit neglectful in return. Don’t make the mistake of trying to make up for what he’s not doing for you by doing more for him.
4. You Agree Less and Less – About Anything
It’s normal to disagree. Except that you never seem to agree any more. And you’re not making much effort to compromise either. Whenever you meet there’s a flare up about something, and neither of you is willing to live and let live. On the contrary, you are becoming entrenched on opposite sides and neither wants to be the one to sue for peace.
This is a real danger sign. Respecting your differences is crucial in a successful relationship.
Proactive tips: don’t let him goad you into a verbal ding-dong. Tell him you must agree to differ and insist that he respects your point of view. If he refuses, that is a big red flag.
5. The PDAs are Becoming a Distant Memory – Rather Like Sex
Remember when you first met and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? If that now seems like a dream then it’s a warning bell. You might not want to have sex all the time any more, but it should still be an important part of your relationship.
And what about the PDAs? Do you still touch each other, hold hands, kiss; or are you more like good friends in public? Being affectionate with each other is an important precursor for sex. Physically withdrawing from a relationship is often a sign of emotional withdrawal too.
Proactive tips: hold hands! Touch each other and cuddle together on the sofa to create a feeling of intimacy. If your boyfriend resists ask him why (without getting angry).
6. Neither of You Are Making Much Effort Any More
It’s normal to relax as your relationship becomes established, but not to stop trying completely. Contrary to what they sometimes pretend, most men are not so careless as to forget things that matter to you, like birthdays and anniversaries. And women don’t spend their whole lives slobbing around in sweatpants if they still care about looking good for their boyfriends.
There’s a difference between relaxing and just not caring at all, and if you have crossed that line then perhaps you should start making a bit more effort before you or he steps out and finds someone else who does.
Proactive tips: put a dress on occasionally and cook a nice meal at the weekend. When he compliments you remind him how long it is since he made your favorite meal and see if he takes the hint!
7. You’ve Stopped Talking About the Future
You used to talk about holidays and things you would do together in the future. But now he’s cagey about committing to plans for next weekend. If he’s started to say “Let’s see what happens” or “I’m not sure what I’m doing”; then he’s no longer thinking of you in the long term and his emotional investment in your relationship is waning.
When you are no longer part of each other’s future then the present becomes tense and strained. If that is happening to you then your relationship needs an overhaul.
Proactive tips: examine your own feelings by picturing your future life with him in it. Do you still see life unfolding as a couple, or is it hard to see you both living happily ever after? There’s no point in clinging to the wrong relationship just to avoid being alone.
8. You’ve Started Not to Tell Him Everything – and You Suspect He Has Too
Whereas you used to leave your phones lying around you now keep them with you. Or if your boyfriend does leave his on the table, it’s locked. You also spend more time on them separately when you are supposed to be together. Altogether it looks as if you might both have secrets.
You don’t exchange news in the way you used either. Whereas you once told each other everything about your day, now if he asks how your day went you just say ‘Oh, fine’. And if you ask him what he did today he says ‘Nothing much’. You don’t seem to have much to say to each other about anything.
He even mentioned his ex the other day, and you been thinking more often about your ex too. Your relationship is definitely losing its fizz.
Proactive tips: perhaps it’s time to talk about your relationship with him and find out if something’s wrong. Just don’t start by announcing ‘We have to talk’; four words guaranteed to make any man shut up like a clam.
9. You’re Beginning to Get On Each Other’s Nerves
It’s amazing how many of his loveable quirks are really beginning to annoy you. And you saw him cringe the other day when you were talking to you best friend in that bar. What at first were charming foibles have become irritating habits that set your teeth on edge.
Most people have a few aggravating habits that grate a bit, but if you are spending your life wincing when in his company then you need to rethink whether he really is the man for you, or you the woman for him.
Proactive tips: try to work out whether you have simply fallen out of love or you are genuinely incompatible. The former can be worked on but the latter means you just shouldn’t be together.
10. You’re Spending More Time Apart Than Together – and You Prefer It
You used to see each other several times a week and spend the weekends together. But now he’s always working late and hanging out with the guys at weekends.
And when you’re out with your friends you enjoy yourself much more than you ever do with him. In fact you can’t remember when you last had a really good night out together. And you’d rather join your friends this weekend for skating and drinks than spend the time with him.
When you are no longer each other’s favourite person, there’s a problem. Your partner should be your greatest supporter and the first person you’d choose to be with, not last person you want to see in the morning. There’s trouble ahead.
Proactive tips: it’s decision time. When was the last time you felt truly happy with your boyfriend? If it’s hard to remember then it’s time to think about the future.
How Many Signs You Are Heading For a Breakup Did You Tick?
How did your boyfriend – and your relationship – measure up?
Just because there are signs you are heading for a breakup it doesn’t mean it’s inevitable. Take it as a warning sign that you might have a few problems and use your knowledge to turn things around and reignite the chemistry between you.
All is not lost. You still have a chance to do something about your relationship before it’s too late. Remember, he chose you, so you already know he is attracted to you. Use that confidence to remind him why he chose you, and how you are still the only woman in the world for him.